Thursday, February 28, 2013

To Duane T.

...wherever you might be.

I got your 'Courage to Change' book in the mail today.

I ordered it from E-bay and it came via a California Goodwill.

I see your name pencilled inside the front cover and your writing seems strong and determined.

I don't know you, Duane T., but I'm sorry you gave up this book.

Perhaps you didn't like the daily reading format.

I have been trying to think of another good reason why you might have donated your copy of it, and my mind just cannot imagine any scenarios that are good.

While I'm happy to have this sturdy little book back in my hands, I'm truly sorry it's no longer in yours.

For me, personally, this publication is one of the best I've ever used.

It's talked me down from a lot of emotional ledges.

The copy that arrived in the mail today is probably my 20th one.

I have a propensity to give them away...that's how valuable I think they are.

The19th copy of the book left my hands when an old neighbor of ours stopped by and rang the doorbell.


She was pushing her new Grandson in a stroller.

Her obvious joy at this new delight in her life dimmed slightly when she told me, "My daughter is gone again."

Our eyes met and the pain between us was so intense it physically hurt my heart.

She talked candidly of her fears and worries for a few minutes, and then her Grandson started to fuss noisily in the stroller.

Her eyes were sad as she informed me, "I need to go. Pray for us."

"Wait! Wait!" I said, "I have something that might help!"

I ran into the house and got my copy of 'Courage to Change' off my nightstand.

Over the loud cries of her Grandson, I quickly told her, "Sometimes the daily reading doesn't help...but sometimes it feels like it saves my life!"

I shoved the book into her hands and we hugged.

She waved at the end of the street and I waved back.

It's been a few months since this encounter and I hadn't yet replaced the book on my nightstand.

But...

My daughter's struggles have increased of late and I've been missing the wisdom of the little book.

I've been finding myself stuck in the perpetual loop of a mother wanting to save her child.

This book reminded me, daily, that I can't rescue her.

She can only save herself.

My daughter is almost thirty years old and I still want to find her and lock her away somewhere safe...

I want to find a way to make her happy and content...

...to find her a job where she will discover purpose...

...to make her recognize the power and wonder of the bright side of the stars...


I can do none of these things.

I have no control over my daughter.

All I can do is read my little book...

And pray for Duane T., my daughter, and all the other people suffering from the devastation of addiction.
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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Alphabe-Thursday Letter O



Good morning class.

Welcome to round six of Alphabe-Thursday! Today we will be studying the outrageous letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by the following Friday afternoon, please let me know!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and you must visit at least 10 other posts...perhaps consider starting from the last posts and work backwards. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please don't be ornery. Link up your "O" post now!
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Cold, hard garden reality.

Man.
 
Garden centers are terrible temptresses this time of year here in sunny Arizona.


Mr. Jenny drove me to a big box chain close to our house...
 
...and I proceeded to fill the cart with flowers and seeds.
 
"I need some big bags of dirt, too!" I said bossily.
 
Mr. Jenny frowned.
 
"You know you don't have much room to plant," he said, grumpily, as he gazed at the cart contents.
 
"Well, I have those planting boxes that Dad and Uncle John made for me..."

 
"Yes, you do," agreed Mr. Jenny.  "Do you remember that you have THREE boxes and they are each 18" square?"
 
"Yes," I argued, "But I have those pots I spray-painted out by the pool."
 
"Yes, you do," agreed Mr. Jenny.  "Do you remember that you have THREE pots?"
 
"Yes," I argued, "And...ummm...I have that little planting area by the pool."
 
"Yes, you do," agreed Mr. Jenny.  "But I'm pretty sure those giant geraniums you bought are going to fill that up."
 
Grrrrr.
 
Grrrrr.
 
I sighed and put back about half the stuff in my cart.
 
Mr. Jenny looked over his glasses at the remainder.
 
Grrrrr.
 
Grrrrr.
 
I sighed and put more stuff back.
 
And finally, finally Mr. Jenny was happy.
 
And so was I until I got home and wondered, 'Where the heck am I going to plant all this stuff?"
 
Sigh.
 
The life of an urban farmer on a small suburban lots is difficult.
 
But at least I have my chickens...
 
AND...
 
...my fruit orchard (a single apricot tree - heehee!) is in bloom!
 
 
PS.   My Dad and my Uncle made those boxes for me for under three bucks!   I'm excited to give them a try!
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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

I think I found a magic park...

...maybe.

It's at the end of my new street.

It's nothing special to look at.


Covered playground, half-basketball court, walking path and lots of dead grass for the winter.

Someone thoughtfully planted trees to shade several metal benches.

The cement path through the length of the park slopes a bit which makes it perfect for Grandlittles on scooters and skates.

There are hundreds of parks almost EXACTLY like this one (possibly without the trees for shade) but the appearance of the park isn't really what makes it magic.

It's the people.

It makes them nice.

And friendly.

This is the 5th neighborhood I've lived in here in Arizona.

People rarely talk to you at the parks.

Sure, they nod, or even say things like, "Wow!  That's a pretty dog!", but they don't really, really talk to you.

Since we've moved in several weeks ago I've had FIVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND COUPLES talk to me at the park.

There was a man and his wife from India who were visiting their grandchildren.   We had a lively conversation about India and travel.

There was a man walking a poodle who stopped to talk and ended up spending 20 minutes discussing the merits of poodles versus other dogs.


Others said, 'Are you new to the neighborhood?   Oh, you'll love it here!" and then proceeded to talk about restaurants and stores in the surrounding area.

And this past Saturday there was a lovely angel of a woman who saw Mr. Jenny and I struggling trying to figure out our new i-phone (Yes!   We finally came kicking and screaming into the world of touch pads and wifi!).

She just walked over to where we were sitting on a bench trying to make it work and said, "Can I help you with that?"

And then she did.

For at least 45 minutes.

While her two boys and our youngest Grandlittle and new neighbor girl friend played frisbee and scootered, she patiently showed us how to get and send e-mail, close programs, do a photo stream.


She didn't laugh at us when the pictures didn't turn out because a) we didn't have the case on right and b) we didn't take the protective plastic off the camera lense.

Whipping the case off and removing the plastic she reassured us, "You will love this...it just takes a little time!"

She's probably right.

We probably WILL love it once we get it all figured out.

In the meantime, we'll simple love our magic park.

And the neat people we are meeting in it!

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Saturday, February 23, 2013

Saturday Centus - Week 148

 Jenny Matlock
Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-EIGHT of Saturday Centus.


The prompt this week is:   "Without you around, I sleep like a baby"
 Number of words:  108.   (including the five words of the prompt)
Style of writing: Any
Additional Pictures: Any

Okay.  I can almost breathe again!   I even visited a week of your previous links and wrote something myself for last weeks prompt!

Go.

Me!

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other entries, any style or genre of writing you prefer. Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up any time between now and next Saturday... post signature

Friday, February 22, 2013

Painted Alphabet - Letter N

Wow.

I think I can almost breathe around here again.

It's been crazy with moving and sickness and all kinds of non-nifty stuff.

But I actually painted an "N" sign this week.

I like it.

And it's a good reminder for me of late.


12" x 12" 
 
Hand-painted and available in my Etsy shop...you can see the mini link at the top right of my blog or click on any picture for a link!  No stickers...no stencils...my designs.
 
This post is linked to Alphabe-Thursday's Letter N.   To read other N offerings, just click here.
 
Thanks for stopping by!

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What was the question?

Oh my gosh. I'm actually writing something for Saturday Centus. This little poem is linked to week 147 of Saturday Centus. The prompt is in bold! And it's EXACTLY one hundred and five words.  To read other stories using this prompt, just click here.


You call me at dinner!
You call in the morning!
You call me all day
without suitable warning!
You ask me so sweetly,
“How are you today?”
And I’m hoping my reply
blew you away.
Sickness
and moving
and family drama!
My dad has been ill
and so has my Momma.
Kidney stones!
Pleurisy!
My dog has a lump!
My vacuum is broken!
I live in a dump!
My identity’s been stolen
by someone on a spree!
I hope this’ll teach you
not to telemarket ME!
And now I must ask YOU,
Aren’t you sorry you asked!
"How am I today?"
I’ve reached critical mass.
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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Alphabe-Thursday Letter N


Good morning class. Welcome to round six of Alphabe-Thursday!

Today I  will share the nice letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and visit at least 10 other students (perhaps the 5 students before and after your post). The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please share your nifty "N" post now!
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Monday, February 18, 2013

Celebrity Sighting!

I saw the red convertible zip by me.
 
 
It was going fast...
 
...zippety fast...
 
..and from the corner of my eye I glimpsed a round-faced grey bearded driver.
 
I saw the Mercedes emblem on the back of the car.
 
Wow.
 
WOW!
 
Could it be?
 
Yes!  Yes!  
 
It was Paula Deen's husband!
 
The Captain!
 
OMG!  OMG! 

 
OMG!  OMG!
 
In the passenger seat I could see Paula Deen's trademark big, silver hair blowing like crazy.
 
OMG!  OMG!
 
What the heck was Paula Deen and her husband doing driving in my city?!?
 
Man, oh man!
 
I was excited!
 
I could see the light turning red up ahead.
 
OMG!  OMG!
 
I was going to pull up beside Paula Deen and her husband!
 
I watched that silver hair blowing and blowing.
 
I tried to get my cell phone ready to take a casual picture when I pulled up beside them.
 
OMG!  OMG!
 
I pulled up beside the shiny red Mercedes convertible!
 
Yes!  YES!
 
It was a round-faced grey bearded driver!
 
Holy cow!
 
I raised my cell phone...
 
However.
 
However.
 
Instead of Paula Deen sitting in the passenger seat it was a sheep dog!
 
 
OMG!  OMG! 
 
The silver hair blowing and blowing in the wind was...
 
a...
 
sigh...
 
sheep dog.
 
The round-faced grey bearded driver glanced at me...
 
...in my truck...
 
... with my window down and my cell phone up...
 
...gulp!...
 
I pretended like I was just looking for cell signal and glanced away.
 
Quickly.
 
As the light turned green, the Mercedes zoomed away from me...
 
...and darned if it still didn't look like the back of Paula Deen's head.
 
Sigh.
 
Blush.
 
No celebrity sighting here.
 
Just a big hangdog, sheepish sigh-ing.
 
...
 
...
 
sigh...
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Saturday, February 16, 2013

Saturday Centus - Week 147

 Jenny Matlock
Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-SEVEN of Saturday Centus.


 
The prompt this week is:   'I'VE OFFICIALLY REACHED CRITICAL MASS'
 Number of words:  105.   (including the five words of the prompt)
Style of writing: Any
Additional Pictures: Any

This is definitely a self-portrait week for me.   I have officially, totally and completely found my limits physically and emotionally!  I'll be by to visit all of you soon!  In the meantime...back to the chaos!

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other entries, any style or genre of writing you prefer. Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up any time between now and next Saturday... post signature

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Alphabe-Thursday Letter M


Good morning class. Welcome to round six of Alphabe-Thursday!

Today I will moderate your offerings for the letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. I actually started on the L's this morning so I'm catching up.   Go me!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and visit at least 10 other students (perhaps the 5 students before and after your post). The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please share your mischievious "M' post now!
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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

There’s something in this later winter light…


…that has the ability to shatter my soul.

I don’t know if it’s the slant of the rays, or the flicker of gold and amber, or the way it bends and refracts at the exact angle of my memories...
…but somehow, in some peculiar way, the light illuminates the deepest parts of my heart…
 
It twists and turns down the paths of my mind I had thought camouflaged  by smiles and a cheerful demeanor.

Like a pain seeking missile, it navigates the hidden recesses that I’ve carefully insulated with theory and philosophy so that tenderest, most vulnerable broken shards and shatters  of my being, are alight and raw.

That cursed late winter light creeps past the brick and mortar walls I’ve constructed so carefully and liberates fragments and slivers of raw pain and remembrance. 
 
Exposed and vulnerable, the emotion releases into the cooling evening like a cloud of sadness.

I feel surrounded by a miasma of dissappointment, rejection, and failed expectations. 

Ahhh.   The protection of self is a good thing.  It cushions the corners of ugly, sharp self-awareness. 

I pull off the road and park my truck, tears clouding my vision so I am unable to see beyond the immediacy of old wounds, ripped and bleeding.

I cry for a long time. 

And, finally,  rescued by a crumpled fast food napkin crammed into the center console, I am able to dry my tears and blow my nose.

I shake my head at the power and intensity of sadness.

I drive on.

Praying for the darkness.

So I can begin the ordered repair of professional denial management.

Or I wonder if  I am really praying for the light so  I can simply pretend that everything is happy/happy/joy/joy.

Both light and dark will help my quest for peace I suspect.

In the interim, however, I am hoping for anything but this particular slant of late winter night that has the ability to shatter my soul.
 
PS.  I know I  haven't been writing in a long time.   Sorry to be all deep and broody when I finally get back to it.  I've often given people advice that sometimes writing begins the healing.   I'm taking my own advice here by sharing these deep thoughts with you.
 
PPS.  I'll be back tomorrow with Alphabe-Thursday AND I may even attempt to paint something this week.   Go.   Me!
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Saturday, February 9, 2013

 Jenny Matlock
Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-SIX of Saturday Centus.


 
The prompt this week is:   'Leave no kidney stone unturned'
 Number of words:  105.   (including the five words of the prompt)
Style of writing: Any
Additional Pictures: Any

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other entries, any style or genre of writing you prefer. Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up any time between now and next Saturday... post signature

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Alphabe-Thursday Letter L


Good morning class. Welcome to round six of Alphabe-Thursday!  I am only half of a  week behind now in reading!   Plan to see me soon on your blog...yeehaw!

Today we will be learning about the letter:



Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and visit at least 10 other students (perhaps the 5 students before and after your post). The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please share your lovely "L" post now!
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Monday, February 4, 2013

Helpful Moving Tip

I have a moving tip for you...

...just in case you're moving...

...or thinking of it...

...or might move at any time, whatsoever, in your future.

So, here's the handy dandy moving tip!  Listen to your husband when he tells you it is NOT a good idea to have a birthday party for 13 people at your NEW house when you're not even finished moving out of your OLD house.



 







You might be inclined to disregard his advice...

...and think to yourself, 'Ah...no big deal.  How complicated can it be if we do carry out?'

Don't listen to yourself.

It is a big deal.

And the worse part is...

...when the party is over and you want to go to bed you STILL have to drive to your OLD house because you haven't moved your bed to the NEW house yet.

I'm not saying this personally happened to me on Friday night.

It...ummm...happened to my friend.

Yeah, I have a friend...

...ummm...yeah...that's right...

A FRIEND WHO TOLD ME IT HAPPENED TO HER.

YessireeBob...

My FRIEND totally disregarded her husbands advice...

And...

...ummm...

Huh?

What?

You don't think my friend did this?

You think it was me?

Really?

I would never do something so silly.

Geez.

As if I would have a birthday party for my Dad and our son on Friday night when we're only HALF moved into one house and HALF moved out of another.

Sigh...
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Saturday, February 2, 2013

Saturday Centus - Week 145

 Jenny Matlock
Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIVE of Saturday Centus. Happy Groundhog's Day!  I pay close attention to this day each year because both my father and my son celebrate their birthday on February 2.

 
The prompt this week is this question.   What happens to Punxsutawney Phil when he retires?
 Number of words:  100.   You do NOT have to include the words of the question in your story.
Style of writing: Any
Additional Pictures: Any

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other entries, any style or genre of writing you prefer. Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up any time between now and next Saturday... post signature